Where Do We Go From Here?
by hse07
Summary: 15 Division struggles to recover from the loss of Jerry, and each person deals with it in their own way...a little of everyone, but mostly McSwarek, mostly fluff and drama. Enjoy!
1. A New Day

_I know, I know, I haven't even finished the last story yet, but a completely different one popped into my head the other night on the way to the store, and after hearing some old tunes (from CSI: Miami, no less!) and watching older Season 3 episodes, I have become inspired...so enjoy! Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue, and its characters and storylines are solely the property of the writers. _

Andy sat there for a while after he left. It was raining, but she didn't even care. Then, she felt a small tap on her shoulder, and when she turned, it was Traci. She wiped her eyes.

"Hey. Uh, sorry, I just...needed some air.", she said apologetically.

"Andy...we've known each other since college. Did you really think I'd fall for that?", Traci asked gently. Andy's eyes filled with tears, and she dropped her head and shrugged.

"I just...with everything with Jerry, the last thing you need right now is me burdening you.", Andy said, sniffling. Traci sat down on the curb beside her.

"Andy...what happened?", Traci asked gently.

"Sam left. He just...we ended things, and then he left.", Andy said, barely a whisper.

"Oh, Andy...", Traci said, and she embraced her friend. Once Andy felt the warmth of her friend, she couldn't stop the tears, and she let them fall freely.

* * *

Sam walked into his place and set his bag down on the floor. Then, numbly, he walked to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of bourbon. He never did finish his at the bar. Sitting on one of the stools propped out by his counter, he swirled the contents inside his glass, watching how the light hit the alcohol and brought out multitudes of colors. He thought about the events of today, and he felt like punching something. He definitely went about that the wrong way. He pulled out his phone and set it on the counter, and it took all his effort to not pick it up and dial Andy. God...what was he doing? His gut was telling him to run, and run far, but his heart? His heart was telling him to pick up that phone right now and invite Andy over. Ignoring his heart, he drained his bourbon before turning off all the lights and heading to his bedroom. He needed sleep; tomorrow would be a long day.

* * *

Andy and Traci grabbed Gail from the bar and quickly said their goodbyes before heading out. The drive to Andy's was a short one, but they took their time. Understandable, since Gail was having issues being in the place she'd been kidnapped from only 48 hours ago, and Andy had reminders of Sam all over her house. When they finally pulled up to her place, Traci shut off the engine and looked over to Andy.

"Do you want us to go in first and clean up?", she asked. Andy smiled weakly and shook her head. Then she slowly opened the door and climbed out. The girls followed, and when they caught up with Andy, they surrounded her on either side and linked arms. Traci opened the door to the building and they all stumbled inside. They'd had a considerable amount of alcohol after Traci found Andy outside. Andy laughed, and then they attempted the climb up the stairs. Gail stumbled and fell, swearing and bringing Andy and Traci down with her, and they all laughed.

"Oh my god, maybe we won't even make it home.", Traci said.

Andy smiled and sighed.

"That's a nice thought, our home.", she said quietly. She smiled a wide smile, which made Traci smile, and then Gail after her.

"What would I do without you guys?", Gail asked as they scooped her up and they all staggered drunkenly into Andy's. Gail went to lay down on the couch, and Traci joined her, laying on the floor below the couch. Andy smiled at the two of them and poured two glasses of water from the fridge. Traci grinned.

"Mmm, yes. Now we just need some more tequila.", she joked. Andy laughed. She walked to the bedroom to get changed into her pyjamas, and when she opened the door, she stopped. Sam's shirt lay on the bed. She walked slowly over to it and picked it up, inhaling the scent of him. She carried the shirt over to the dresser, where she had a photo of her and Sam stuck in there. They'd taken it the other day on break, and she'd stuck it into the mirror. She grabbed the photo and crumpled it up, and then she threw the shirt across the room. She fell and cried out, and then she looked to the doorway, where she saw Gail. With a sympathetic look, Gail crossed the room and embraced Andy, and Andy let the tears flow once more.

"He told me he wouldn't leave without a fight, and then he just left. No fight, no working at it."

"Well, guys lie. It's the harsh reality of life.", Gail said, and she stroked Andy's hair softly. Traci knocked on the door frame gently, and in seeing the picture on the floor, she picked it up and straightened it out.

"Andy...", she said, and she sat on the other side of Andy and embraced her as well. Andy was looking at the floor.

"I have an idea. That's a really big bed, and you obviously don't want to be alone tonight.", Gail said, pointing to the bed. Andy laughed through her tears, and then Gail stood and held out a hand for Andy. Traci stood as well, and the three girls climbed into Andy's queen. They all laid together in silence, and then Traci said,

"I'm glad you guys are here."

"Me too.", they both echoed in unison.


	2. Time and Space

Andy knew the day would be rough, but she had no idea it would start right off the bat. Waking up, she rolled over to look at the clock. It read 8:42 am.

"Oh, crap! Traci, Gail! Get up, we're late!", she yelled, shoving at them. Traci opened her eyes first, and she got up immediately. Gail shoved a pillow on her head.

"Oh, it's so bright!", she complained. Traci smiled at Andy, and the two of them together ripped the blankets off.

"Rude!", Gail cried out, but she got up. After grabbing a quick bite in the kitchen, they drove as fast as they could to the station. Frank gave a grace to both Gail and Traci, but for Andy he wasn't so courteous.

"Nice of you to show up, McNally." Andy searched for Sam, and he met her eyes briefly from the back of the room before dropping them. Oliver, noticing the exchange, shot first Andy, and then Sam, a worried look. Andy sat down and sank down into her chair, trying to make herself less visible. Frank dove right in with his speech.

"So, as you all know, the last couple days have been tough. That being said, we're starting from scratch. As of today, we're putting the past behind us. Back to basics, people." From behind Andy, Oliver watched as Sam looked at her, frowning.

"So, today, we have some new assignments. As requested, Swarek...you're with Diaz. Epstein, you're with Shaw. Peck, you'll ride with Nash, who's taking some time from the detective's chair...and Collins, you're with McNally. You all have your assignments. Let's get out there and do our job. Serve, protect." Frank stepped down from the podium and started back to his office as the rest of the officers cleared out of the parade room. Nick walked up to Andy.

"Hey, you didn't check in last night, so I assumed you guys just passed out?", Nick questioned.

"Yeah. We were all pretty tired.", Andy said, and she grimaced as a shot of pain escalated inside her head.

"You alright?", he asked, worriedly.

"Yeah. Just...tequila was _not _my friend last night.", she said, smiling.

"Ouch.", Nick said back, and he grabbed Andy's bag to put it in the trunk. The ride was relatively quiet, until Nick spied the book in the back. He read the cover aloud, and then followed suit with,

"Wow, okay. You sure you're good?"

"Yep.", Andy said, smiling to show him she was fine.

"All units, we have a situation at Westlake Church."

Andy looked down at the radio, and when Nick went to reach for it, she puckered her lips.

"Uh, 1521 responding.", Nick answered, and Andy popped the lights. As she drove to the church, she could see a couple people outside, struggling to carry their bags inside.

"Hey, let me help you with that!", she said, and her and Nick grabbed some bags from them and took them inside. As she set the bags down on the floor, she heard yelling, and she signaled to Nick. They ran out, and to her horror Andy watched as a blue van drove away after shooting a man.

"Dammit! Collins!", she yelled out. He nodded and went to grab the emergency kit.

"Uh, 1521...we have a man down at Westlake Church! Requesting a bus!", she said into the radio. She knew as soon as that call went out, she'd be getting other officers from 15, but she swore under her breath when the cars that pulled up were that of Luke and Diaz and Sam. Sam got out first.

"McNally, what happened?"

"Uh, we came up to the church and there were some people outside who needed help, so we carried their bags inside, and then when we heard yelling we came back out, and saw the priest on the ground and a blue van driving off.", she explained.

"Oh, that's nice. So, you two were unloading groceries while the priest was out here getting shot at, is that what you're telling me?", he snapped, and Luke shot him a look before looking at Andy and Nick sympathetically. Sam turned to Chris.

"Secure this crime scene. If anyone's in the church, they don't leave. They could be potential eye witnesses." Sam stormed off to his squad to radio it in. Luke looked from Nick to Andy and then shook his head.

"Okay, Andy, I need you to walk me through it, one more time, please.", he said gently. She explained the story again, and then he sent her and Nick back to the station.

"What? No, Luke-"

"McNally, it sucks, I know...but you compromised a crime scene, so you can't be here. I'm sorry." Andy shot him an angry look, and with a final glare at Sam, she got into the squad. Sam came up and knocked on the window. She groaned and rolled it down.

"Got a sec?", he asked. She rolled her eyes and stepped out. She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows.

"I just...came to ask...uh...my keys to the truck...uh, it's my only other set, I should probably get those back.", he said. The entire time, he kept his head down, not looking at her.

"Sure. Here.", she snapped, and she opened the pocket of her pants and tossed him his keys. Then she turned and walked back to the car, and slammed the door when she got in. Sam looked on sadly, wishing he could say something, anything. Instead, he sighed and walked away.

This time, Nick drove, and when he tried to ask if Andy was okay she held up a hand. The rest of the ride to 15 was in silence. When they got into the building, Frank dismissed them for the day, and Andy angrily got changed before heading to the gym. She grabbed the gloves off the table and then proceeded to take out her frustrations on the bag, punching it again and again, tears spilling onto her cheeks in anger. That was where Chris found her, two hours later.

"Hey, I'm on lunch...did you want to go somewhere with me?", he asked. She looked up at him, and then she nodded, and he led her to the place he usually went to unwind, the gym at the community centre.

"Chris, what are we doing here?", she asked.

"We're gonna play some 1-on-1.", he said, and he threw a ball to her. She bounced it on the ground before shooting for the net, and she missed.

"So, you okay?", he asked.

"Yeah, fine.", she said brusquely.

"That's not what it looked like this morning.", he countered.

"People stay together, people break up. Whatever.", she snapped, and the ball swooshed through the net. Chris raised his eyebrows but said nothing, and they fell into a quick game of 1-on-1. Andy won, and she smiled as they left the gym.

"Thanks. I needed that.", she said.

"Anytime. And hey, if you do decide you want to talk, just let me know.", he said. She nodded, and when he dropped her off at the station, she decided to go home. She grabbed her things from the lockers and left, but she swore under her breath to see Sam up ahead. With no other way to go, she knew she had to pass him, so she steeled herself and walked on, not even giving him a second glance. Sam watched her go, and then he frowned. Oliver caught the exchange and walked up to him.

"So, you gonna tell me what the hell is going on with you two, or..."

"Nope.", Sam said, and he smiled at Oliver.

"Okay, well, brother, I gotta say, you have me worried. So, uh...fix it, because we need the old Sam back, and for that matter, the old McNally." Sam watched him walk away before meeting Diaz back at the cruiser.

"So, how is McNally?", he asked. Chris shrugged.

"I don't know. Pissed, I guess.", he said, shrugging.

"Yeah, well...", Sam began, and then said nothing. He had nothing that wouldn't make him sound like the biggest ass of the century.

* * *

Andy slammed the door to her apartment before settling down slowly on the couch. Worst day ever, she thought. There was a knock on the door, and she got up to open it. Nick stood on the other side, and he smiled.

"So, seeing as how we're both off, I was wondering if I could buy you a late lunch. Uh, I'm supposed to meet Gail at 5, and then we're going to the Penny, and I have strict instructions to bring you along. She strictly said you're not allowed to sit at home, moping.", he said. Andy hung her head, and she didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Sam would most likely be at the Penny, and she didn't know if she could see him right now. After some thought, though, she decided "why not", and made a promise to just be really drunk by the time he got there.

"Okay, I'm coming.", she said. She followed Nick out, and he brought her to a really good restaurant. The fries were amazing. She asked him to regale her with war stories, and he told her the tale of how one of his buddies had his scivvies stolen by a goat, and how another was caught Skyping nude with his wife.

"Oh god, that would have been funny to see!", she said, laughing.

"Oh, it was. And he couldn't look at any of us for days afterwards.", he said, joining in on her laughter.

After lunch was over, Nick looked at his phone and saw it was 4:45, and he paid for lunch and drove back to 15. Andy decided she was going to wait in the car, to avoid seeing Sam, and Nick nodded, telling her he'd be right back. So, when Sam came barrelling out of the station, bag in hand, she felt her breath catch, and she watched as he got into the truck and drove off. Shortly after, Traci, Gail, and Nick all piled into Nick's car, and Andy smiled at seeing her friends.

"To the Penny!", Traci said, holding up one hand like a sword. Andy laughed and they drove to the bar, laughing and joking. Andy made a silent promise to forget about how crappy today was.

Upon entering the Penny, Andy was slightly surprised to see Sam, sitting at the bar, talking with Luke.

"Whoa, that's...weird.", Traci muttered, and her and Gail led Andy far away from them.

Sam watched Andy go sadly, and then he took a drink from his scotch.

"You want some advice?", Luke asked, and Sam gave him a look. Then he sighed.

"Why not?", he said.

"I know what you're dealing with is hard, and I know you don't like to let anyone in...I got shot, and I pushed Andy away so much I couldn't find a way to get that back, and then you know how I screwed up there...but we're talking about you here. For some reason, she cares about you, and this stuff you have going on...it's not her fault. You need to figure out what you want, and if you don't figure that out soon, you're gonna lose Andy for good.", he said. Then he stood, and as he walked away, said,

"Take it from me."

* * *

Dov and Chris showed up shortly after everyone else, and they pulled up two chairs and joined Gail, Traci, Andy and Nick.

"Hey, guys!", Dov said, and Andy laughed at his hair.

"Oh my god, Dov, your hair's a mess.", she said, giggling. Dov scowled and tried to brush some of his hair flat.

"How was the rest of your day?", Chris asked, looking first at Nick, but then at Andy, and she knew he mainly meant the question for her.

"Went for lunch. Had some food. Uh, did some laundry.", Nick said, and she raised her glass.

"Yep, it was pretty boring.", she said. She got up and walked to the bar to order another round for her friends, and Sam sat down beside her. She began wildly looking for the bartender, because she needed to get out of there. Sam cleared his throat, and it took all the effort she had not to look at him.

"Andy...", he said gently. She turned her head and glared at him.

"How are you?", he asked.

"Well, I'll be better when the bartender stops ignoring me.", she snapped.

"Look, about earlier...", he said, but she turned away from him.

"I get it. So just forget it.", she said. Then she walked back to her friends, and Sam could hear her complaining that the bartender wasn't paying attention to her. Sam motioned for the bartender and beckoned over to Andy's table, saying to buy her a round of whatever they wanted on him. Then he laid a $50 on the table and left. It was too hard, being here with her, when all he wanted to do was take her home with him.

The waitress showed up to Andy's table and brought them all a round. When Andy went to pay, she held up a hand.

"It's been taken care of, by Officer Swarek.", she said. Andy looked up to watch Sam's back as it left the Penny, and she quickly grabbed her coat.

"Andy, wait!", Traci called out, but she ignored her.

"Hey!", she yelled to Sam's back, and he turned. He leaned against his truck casually, and she walked up to him.

"You need to stop. Stop being nice to me. Stop buying me drinks.", she said.

"Sorry.", he said, shrugging. She turned to go, and then stopped. Turning back to him, she narrowed her eyes.

"What happened to not giving up without a fight? What happened to promising to work at it?", she demanded.

"Andy, please-", he began, but then he stopped. He thought about that for a minute, and the words Luke said to him rang in his head.

"Can we just...can we go for a drive?", he asked slowly. Andy stood there, drinking him in, not saying anything. Then she nodded slowly, and he held out a hand to her. She grabbed it and he helped her get into his truck. After climbing in, he sat for a second, looking at her, but she refused to meet his eyes, and then he started the truck and began driving. He didn't know where he was going, and he didn't care. All he cared about right now was Andy. He drove them a short way away, to Georgia Park, and then he shut the truck off. Climbing out, he shut the door, and when Andy looked in the rearview mirror, he was pulling the truck bed down. She sighed and joined him.

He sat on the truck and began turning his phone over and over in his hands. She looked up at the sky, and then she sighed and looked back down at her hands.

"Are you going to say anything?", she asked snarkily.

Sam sighed and turned to look at her. Tears were streaming down her face. He reached out to brush one away, and when he went to take his hand back, she cupped it with her own. She looked over to him, and he smiled weakly.

"I'm not good at this. At fighting for anything. My dad, he got out of jail a year ago, and my mom...she's been hooked on booze since he was arrested. She's doing better now, but..." He sighed. Andy gave him a sympathetic look.

"You just walked away. You got into your truck and left, and it's been three days, and still you're distant, and I don't know how to help you. Sam, I love you, and I will keep saying that if that's what you need to hear...but I can't wait for you to love me back." She crossed her arms again, and he sighed.

"I think I just need some space, to heal, to grieve for Jerry. Until I do that, McNally, I can't be with you. It's not fair to you. Andy...it's not you, it's me."

"Really? You're going there? I am so done with your cliches, Sam." She wiped her eyes and jumped down from the truck.

"Um...I'm going to walk back to the Penny."

"What? No, Andy...", he began, but she held up a hand.

"Space. Remember?", she said, and she began the short walk back to the bar. When she got there, Traci was outside, and she walked up to her.

"You okay?", she asked slowly. Andy nodded. Traci hugged her friend, and then they walked back into the bar to spend some more time with their friends.

Sam sat on the bed of his truck for some time after Andy left, still looking in the direction she'd gone, still wanting to drive after her and tell her how much he loved her. Instead, he sat.


	3. Did You Say It?

Andy woke up the next morning with the sun shining rudely in her face. Grimacing, she stood and then staggered to avoid the sudden pain in her head. _How much did I drink last night?_, she wondered. Grabbing the bottle of Tylenol off the nightstand, she took a few and took a drink of the water by her bed. Looking up, she saw Gail standing in the doorway.

"Good morning, sunshine.", Gail joked, and Andy rolled her eyes.

"What the hell happened last night?", Andy asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.

"Well, when you got back from your little drive with Swarek, we knew you'd be down, so we bought another round...and then Nick bought us another...", Gail said, and she grinned.

Andy held her head and leaned forward, feeling the pain increase.

"You really need to learn to handle your liquor.", Gail added snarkily. Andy picked up a shirt and proceeded to throw it in Gail's direction, and she ducked away, laughing.

"Alright, come on. We're going to be late.", Gail said. She left the room, and Andy was alone with her thoughts. Taking another sip of water, she proceeded to dress, slowly so as to avoid sudden movements. Those made her head hurt worse. Traci came to check on her five minutes later and they left for the station together.

* * *

When the girls pulled up to 15 a few moments later, they were met with smiles and laughter from the officers inside. Gail and Traci shot Andy a sympathetic look, and she shot them one of confusion and annoyance.

Chris, Nick, and Dov were the first to see Andy, and Dov grabbed her arm gently.

"Uh, hey, Andy...surprised you're here today...", Chris said.

"Why wouldn't I be?", she snapped.

"Well, you had a pretty good time last night.", Dov added, and he turned the laptop he was looking at towards her. Horrified, Andy watched as she saw herself on the bar of the Penny, dancing with a glass of something in her hand.

"Oh...my God.", she said, slowly. She watched in horror as drunken Andy began singing along to "Sexy and I Know It" and dancing...drunkenly...along with the music. Then, in the next few moments, she covered her mouth as drunken Andy proceeded to take off her shirt, parading around on the bar with no shirt, just her sports bra.

"How many people have seen this?", she asked, looking up at Chris. He shrugged, and Andy looked around the station worriedly. Most, if not all, of the officers were snickering and whispering...about her, she was sure of it.

"Oh, god.", she said, and the dizziness came on again. Just then, Frank walked in, and he did not look happy.

"McNally...in my office...now.", he barked. She shot a worried glance to Traci and Gail and the boys, and then proceeded to follow Frank up to his office. She sat down and began to stare at her hands, twiddling her thumbs worriedly. Frank sat too, and he just stared at her for a few moments.

"McNally...I get it. You're going through a rough time. We all are...but when you signed up for this job, you agreed to a morality clause...which means taking your shirt off and dancing drunk on a bar is definitely NOT the type of image we want to portray as civil servants!", he said, and when he reached the end she winced as his voice rose. She looked up at him.

"Sir, I screwed up, and I know this, but I promise you...I _promise_...this will never happen again.", she said, stammering in her nervousness.

"I have half a mind to suspend you...again...for conduct unbecoming...but we're down an officer, and we need you McNally...but, I just need to ask...do you need some time off? A vacation? A temporary transfer to another division?", he asked. He had his hands on his hips and was giving her his best stern, fatherly look.

"No, sir, I am fine, I'm good, ready to work.", she said, talking fast to try to mask her nervousness.

"Well, we shall see, McNally. Today, you ride with Shaw. He's going to report back to me at the end of the day, and it's his decision that will determine where we go from here. Up until I make my decision, be it today, tomorrow, or a week from now, you will ride with either Shaw or Swarek."

"Sir, but I-"

"It's not up for discussion, McNally. From what we _all_ saw last night, you clearly need someone to help you think about your actions before you make them, and we need officers with clear heads out there.", he said sternly. Andy looked down at her hands and nodded, knowing there was no way she was getting out of this.

"Go get ready for parade before I change my mind.", he said, sighing. Andy stood and practically _ran _out of his office. Stepping back into the parade room, she went to stand beside Gail and Traci, who gently rubbed her back.

"It's going to be okay, Andy.", Traci said softly, and Andy nodded.

"Coppers of 15! I'm sure we all saw the videos posted online last night, and I'm sure we all have a lot to say...but I'm telling you all here and now, if I hear anyone talking gossip about last night, or distributing said videos anywhere, there will be consequences. I hope I'm understood.", he said.

"Yes, sir!", they all barked in unison. Frank gave Andy a sympathetic look, and she whispered a silent thank you.

"Now, we have a busy day today. So, let's hand out the assignments accordingly." Frank went through the assignments for all the officers, and Andy grimaced to see Sam staring at her from across the room. She moved forward a little to hide behind Traci, and Traci, noticing, put her arm around her and shot Sam a dirty look. Shaw clapped Andy on the back, and then he proceeded to walk outside. Andy followed quickly, keeping her head down and ignoring everyone. Sam began to say something to her, and she walked faster. She didn't want to deal with him right now. Climbing into the squad car, she looked down at her hands. Oliver was sitting forward with his hands on the wheel, and he was trying so hard not to laugh. It failed, and he laughed. Andy shot him a rude look.

"I'm sorry, McNally, but...what were you thinking?", he asked, laughing.

"I wasn't...clearly. I'm never drinking again.", she said, hiding her face.

"Well, we've all done stupid things, and I'm going to leave it at that, okay? We won't talk about it anymore. So just try not to think about it, try to focus on doing a good job, so I can report back to Frank that you don't need a babysitter.", Oliver said gently, and he patted her arm reassuringly. As Oliver drove around, he began regaling her with his night, telling her that he took Izzie to see that "Magic Mike" movie.

"You know, I really ought to look up what a movie's about before I take my kids there. I thought it would be about magic, like a fantasy movie, and I was horrified!", he said, chuckling.

"Izzie loved it, though, said it was the best time she's ever had with me, including the parts where I was blushing and covering my eyes.", he said, smiling. That made Andy laugh, and in response to that she got a thumping ache in her head, and she moaned.

"Oh, McNally...there's aspirin in the glove compartment.", he said, chuckling again. He held out his water bottle to her as she took some aspirin and then gulped the water.

"Thanks.", she said.

"Not to worry, we've all been there. Actually, our first night at 15, Frank and I had a contest, to see who could drink more. I drank him under the table, to be honest...but that night was fun. Jerry bet us $50 that we wouldn't have the balls to streak through Garrison Park, and let me tell you...we all chickened out...except Sammy. Sammy was $50 richer that night. Think it's how all the gambling got started between them, really." Oliver chuckled, and when Andy looked over at him, he winked at her. She smiled.

"_All units, we have a fire at the City Centre mall, requesting assistance_.", the radio barked.

"1519, that's affirmative. You can mark me on that.", Oliver responded. He threw on the lights, and he did a U-turn to get to the mall.

"Okay, here it goes. Just...keep your head, play it cool. Sammy trained you well, so you have nothing to worry about.", he said. They pulled up to the mall, and Andy and Oliver began ushering people back. She looked up to see the flames were already crawling through part of the building, and she looked around to try to secure the perimeter. Another car pulled up, and Andy waved as Dov and Nick got out.

"What have we got?", Dov yelled over the noise.

"Looks like everyone's out! We need to get that tape up so everyone knows how far to stay back!", Oliver ordered. Dov nodded and began placing the perimeter tape. Andy kept looking to make sure that the area was clear, and at first she almost missed it. Her second sweep around, she saw it, and she called out.

"Oliver! There's someone in there!", she yelled.

"What?", he yelled back.

"There's a girl inside! She's close, I can get her out!", Andy yelled.

"No, McNally, stay back! Hear those sirens? The fire department's on its way!", he yelled. Andy looked back at the doorway, and she noticed the beams to the entrance were struggling to hold. Swearing under her breath, she began to move.

"McNally, stand down!" Oliver yelled.

"There's no time!", she yelled back, before running through the door. Oliver looked around wildly, and he swore. Sam would fucking _kill _him if anything happened to her.

"Sir, I'll go get her.", Collins said.

"I can't let you do that, Collins, stay here. Epstein, call for backup. NOT to the station. Sam's on desk duty, so keep it off channel 4, that's Sammy. If you can avoid it, make sure he doesn't come here!" Dov nodded and began placing the call on the radio as Oliver ran after his rookie. Shit, he had a damn feeling he shouldn't have woken up today.

* * *

Sam was sitting at his desk, bored as hell, when he saw Frank come out of his office in a rush. He looked worried as hell, and that was never a good thing.

"Boss, what's up? Need a hand?", Sam called out.

"Uh, no, Swarek, I'm good.", he said. Sam shot him a look and stood up.

"Seriously, Frank...what's going on?", Sam asked, and he was ignored as Frank kept walking. Sam threw up his hands and decided to find out what the hell was going on. Seeing Traci up in her office, he decided to go talk to her.

"Nash...do you have any idea what is going on?", he asked. When she turned to look at him, her eyes were tear-stained, and at that second, something in his gut told him something had happened to McNally.

"Nash...what's going on?", he asked carefully.

"There's a fire at City Centre Mall...uh, Oliver and Andy were first responders. They secured the building, but then Andy saw someone inside, and..."

He felt sick. She didn't even need to finish, he knew exactly what was happening. _God damn McNally, always acting first and thinking later_, he thought. He turned and ran out of the office, and he was not surprised to see Nash right behind him.

"What-", he began.

"I'm coming with you!", she demanded. He nodded, and they ran out to his cruiser together.

* * *

The scene when Traci and Sam pulled up to the mall was insane. People were running, the fire department were spraying water, and Frank was barking orders to the officers standing by. He saw Sam pull up and went to meet him.

"Swarek, what are you doing here?", he asked brusquely.

"You should have told me, Frank!", he yelled, pushing against Frank's outstretched hands to get by so he could see. Frank pushed him back and crossed his arms.

"Swarek, you're not getting past me, now calm down!", he said. Sam swore and grabbed his radio.

"Shaw, come in if you can hear me!", he yelled into it. There was a few seconds of silence, and then...

"Sammy...hey brother."

"Are you guys alright? What's going on in there?", Sam asked.

"Uh, I'm fine, the girl's fine, but...Sammy...", Oliver said and there was a pause.

"Where's McNally?", Sam asked into the radio. Silence.

"Oliver, come in!", Sam cried out, thinking he'd just lost signal.

"McNally's on the other side of the wall, Sammy, she's buried. Frank knows already and the fire department's trying to get to her.", the voice said. Sam's eyes widened, and he dropped down to his knees.

"Now, listen, Sam...she's going to be fine. Oliver's in there, and right up until you got here, Andy was talking, was responding to him, and they're going to get her out of there.", Frank said, trying to comfort him.

Sam felt like he was going to be sick. Not only was this a repeat of two years ago, but now his best friend _and_ the love of his life were in danger. He stuck his head between his knees and tried to focus on his breathing. Suddenly, McNally's voice cracked up over the radio.

"Sam...are you there?", she asked, and it sounded like she was having difficulty speaking.

"McNally, how you doing in there?", Frank radioed.

"Uh...okay, I guess. There's something on my chest. It's getting hard to breathe in here.", she said, and they heard her coughing over the radio.

"McNally, just hang on, okay?", Sam responded back worriedly. He stood and began surveying the quickest way he could help out so they could get her and Oliver out.

* * *

Andy stared up at the blackened ceiling, trying to calm her nerves. Every breath hurt.

"McNally?", a faint voice called, and she felt calm at hearing Oliver's voice.

"How you doing in there?", he asked. She coughed, and the pain increased.

"I can't...it's hard to breathe...", she said, and she coughed again. She felt liquid on her face, and when she put her hands up she could see some sort of dark liquid on them.

"Oliver?", she began, and he could hear the panic in her voice.

"Just hang in there, McNally. The firefighters will be here soon.", he soothed. He swore under his breath. From everything he'd learned at the Academy in his first aid courses, her constant coughing coupled with his knowledge that he was pretty sure she was buried in there indicated to him that she had blood in her throat, and that meant internal injuries. Looking down at the girl laying in his lap, he felt tears come to his eyes. McNally saved this girl. No matter what Frank thought about her actions here today, or what running in here mindlessly had done for her, he was going to make damn sure everyone out there knew that McNally had saved this girl. He remembered entering the building after McNally, and seeing her trying to free the girl from a board that had fallen.

"_McNally! What are you doing? We need to get out of here!", he called out. _

"_Oliver, she's stuck!", Andy called out. Oliver helped her lift the board off the girl's leg. The girl couldn't be more than 15. She was unconscious, so Oliver picked her up and cradled her in his arms. Motioning for Andy to follow him, he began to go back the way he came. Suddenly, there was a creaking noise, and he saw the roof begin to fall. Feeling a shove, he fell forward, and he just knew she'd pushed him out of the way. _

"_McNally!", he cried out. He heard her cry out in pain, and then nothing._

"_McNally! Andy McNally!", he called out. He heard coughing, and his heart rate slowed a little._

"_Andy, are you okay?", he asked._

_From the other side of the wall, Andy tried to sit up. Her eyes widened at seeing the very large beam on her chest, and she groaned. She tried to move her legs so she could try to wiggle out from under it, but when she looked over the beam at her legs, one of them was twisted grotesquely, and she knew for certain it was broken. She swore, and then she heard Oliver._

"_Oliver! I'm okay, I'm just...stuck!", she said, stopping to catch her breath. _

"_McNally, you gotta try to stay with me, okay? Just stay awake, stay alert, and try not to move, okay?", she heard the voice call out. She felt hot tears spring up behind her eyes, and she tried to calm herself down._

"_Uh...yeah. Yeah, I'll try.", she said, and her voice broke._

_Oliver swore. She sounded so scared. He just hoped the firemen hurried up. _

* * *

It had been at least an hour since Sam had got there, and they now had the fire out. The entire front of the building had collapsed, though, so they were now drilling through the rubble and trying to get to Oliver, the girl, and Andy. From his peripheral vision, Sam saw Luke come stand up beside him.

"You okay?", Luke asked. Sam didn't answer. Instead, he jumped on his radio.

"Oliver? How's everyone doing in there?", he called out.

"Uh, still the same, Sam. Hey, Sammy? Could you get me a cheesebuger? I'm starving.", he joked, and Sam couldn't help but smile. Then, he heard Oliver again.

"Hey, I don't mean to alarm anyone, but they need to hurry up. McNally hasn't responded in over five minutes, and...uh...this little girl's not doing so good with the smoke inhalation.", he said. Sam began walking over to the fireman he saw standing by.

"How close are we?", he asked.

"We're doing everything we can.", the guy said.

"How is that? You're standing around watching everyone work!", Sam snapped back. Frank grabbed his arm and gently pulled him away.

"Sam, I think I'm going to send you back to the station.", he said gently.

"No! Frank, I'm not leaving.", he snapped.

"Sam...we have it covered here, and we need you to keep your head."

"Okay, okay.", Sam said, and he took a breath.

"I'm not leaving, Frank, but I promise I'll stay out of the way.", he said. Frank nodded finally and walked back to give Dov and Chris more direction. Traci walked up slowly to Sam, and he could see the worry in her eyes.

"She's going to be fine. Andy's strong.", Traci said. Sam smiled weakly in thanks for her effort at comforting him, but he could see the worry in her eyes as well.

"Sam?", came Oliver's voice across the radio.

"Ollie, hey brother!", Sam said, and he took a breath.

"Uh, I can see a light, man. Tell them they're close! Don't let them hit me!", he said worriedly. Sam briskly walked over to the fireman again.

"Hey, my guy says he can see outside! You guys are close." The fireman nodded and gave a thumbs-up to Sam. He and Traci watched as in one move, the whole wall gave way, and Sam could see Oliver and the girl. The firemen rushed in, and one helped Oliver to stand while the other put an oxygen mask over his face. There was another fireman who put one over the girl's face as well. Sam smiled to see Oliver walking over to him, being supported by a paramedic.

"Hey, buddy. Good to see you walking.", Sam joked, and he clapped Oliver on the back. Oliver smiled and sat on the edge of the ambulance while the attendant checked him out. Oliver watched as Sam turned back to the wreckage, watching the every move of the fire department worriedly. A cry came out, and one of the firemen held up a hand to signal he'd found Andy. Sam watched as they carefully lifted the beam off her chest, and a paramedic regulated her breathing before they lifted her up and put her on a stretcher. Sam and Traci both ran to the stretcher at the same time, and he looked on in horror as he saw her broken leg, and again at seeing her unconscious. Suddenly he felt Traci's hand, and he grabbed for it and gave it a squeeze.

"Swarek, come on, ride with me to the hospital.", Frank said. Sam watched as they put Andy in the ambulance. He shook his head.

"No. No. I want to ride with her.", he said. Then, louder, to the paramedics, he said,

"I want to ride with her!". They looked at Frank, and slowly he nodded. Traci let go of his hand, and he shared a look with her before climbing into the back with Andy.


	4. Every Little Thing's Gonna Be Alright

The hospital chair was uncomfortable, and Traci kept moving to try to find a more comfortable position. She heard a soft knock on the door, and she turned to see Oliver standing there. He looked like hell. He had bruises all over his face, and one of his hands was bandaged.

"Hey! You sure you should be up walking around?", she asked worriedly. He nodded, and then he cleared his throat.

"They discharged me. I only have a few bruises. McNally, here...McNally's the real hero. You know she ran in there, without thinking, to save that girl? Yeah, if she hadn't of gone in there, that fire would have claimed a victim today. We already had the perimeter secured and figured no one was inside." He gently lifted up one of McNally's hands and softly clutched it, staring down at her sadly.

"It's not going to help in your report, though, sadly...her running in there."

"You might be wrong. I told Frank everything that happened here today...but I also told him that mindless as it was, if she hadn't run in there, this girl may be dead.", he said softly. He scrubbed at his eyes, and Traci could see the tears he wiped away. She looked down at the bed.

"How's Sam doing?", she asked.

"Uh, he went to get a coffee. I had to threaten to break his arm to even get him to leave the waiting room, but he went. He's itching to see Andy, though."

"Why hasn't he?", she asked.

"Um, when they brought them in, he had a minor freak-out, so they want him to calm down before he comes in. Doesn't want him riling up the others." Oliver was still clutching Andy's hand, and he sighed.

"Okay, I need coffee. Um...I'm sending someone in after me, so...uh...just so you know." Traci nodded and took Oliver's place holding Andy's hand. She sighed in the emptiness, and wished for the third time that day that Jerry was here.

"Andy?", she said softly. Of course, there was no response. She kept going, needed to speak even if Andy couldn't hear.

"Sam's going crazy out there. Keeps pacing. I'm surprised there's not a hole in the floor, because he hasn't sat down since they brought you in." She smiled at the image of Sam wearing a hole into the floor, and then the smile disappeared as she realized where she was, what she was doing.

"You need to wake up. I already lost Jerry, and I don't know if I'm strong enough to lose you, too. In fact, I know I'm not strong enough." Her voice shook, and she gently began stroking Andy's hand. There was a soft knock on the door, and Tommy McNally peeked his head around the other side.

"Hey, Tommy!", Traci said, wiping her eyes quickly. Tommy rushed over to the bed, and Traci moved so he could sit. He did so, and brushed a strand of hair from Andy's face once he had.

"She looks more like her mother every day.", he whispered, more to himself, Traci suspected.

"Does she know?", Traci asked gently. He nodded, and then he cleared his throat.

"She's out in the waiting room. I wouldn't let her in here to see Andy until I did. At least I can have the satisfaction of knowing that the parent that was actually there for her got to see her first." Traci couldn't help but smile, and she placed a gentle hand on Tommy's shoulder.

"Um, I'm going to go...give you guys some time.", she said quietly. She slipped out quietly, and it was not surprising that Sam pounced on her the second she was in the waiting room.

"How is she"?, he asked worriedly.

"She's...she's still unconscious. The doctor says it might be some time before she wakes up, that we should just keep talking to her and letting her know we're there.", Traci said. She saw his eyes fill with tears, and he immediately brought his fingers up to pinch the bridge of his nose. She felt so bad for him.

"Um...can you please tell these people that I'm fine? I want to see her, dammit.", he said, and he took a deep breath. She reached out and squeezed his shoulder gently.

"I can try. Let's go.", she said, and she walked with him over to the nurse.

"Excuse me...uh...Andy's dad is asking for Sam, and he was just wondering if he could go in and see her now." The nurse looked from Traci to Sam worriedly, and then back to Traci again. Traci nodded, and the nurse gently led Sam to the door. She knocked gently and stuck her head inside. Traci shared a worried look with Sam, but to her relief the nurse popped her head back out and motioned for Sam to go in. He stepped in quietly, so as not to disturb Tommy, but Tommy turned and looked at him as he was approaching the bed.

"I was wondering when they were going to let you in here.", he said, chuckling.

"Yeah, I, uh...I went a little nuts when they stuck her with the IV.", he said, smiling.

"So I hear. Uh...come on, sit down.", he said, and he stood, motioning Sam into the empty chair. Sam sat and reached for McNally's hand, trying to ignore the beeping machines and the tubes sticking out of her.

"She came to me, you know...After you ended it. Said she didn't want to be alone, so she came to me, and I told her I was busy...um...with Amy. Andy felt silly and said she didn't want to interrupt, so she left. Not sure where she went, but...the one time my daughter needed me, I was too busy to see her. And now...", he said, and his voice broke. He gestured to Andy, lying there all weak and broken. Sam felt bad for him. For the longest time, the only person Andy had was her dad, and vice versa.

"Uh...Traci's fiance died...last week, and uh...I blamed her. I felt like if I hadn't listened to her, if I had've not let her get inside my head, I would have been able to see that the guy was crooked, and then...but anyway, I pushed her away, and now..." He stopped, because he wasn't sure he could go on without crying. And Sam didn't cry. At least, not in front of people.

"She told you, hey?", Tommy asked, and Sam didn't even need to ask what he was talking about. He nodded.

"Did you say it back?", Tommy asked. Sam stared at him for a moment, and then slowly shook his head. Tommy looked down at Andy and then he squeezed Sam's shoulder.

"I'll give you some time...with her.", he said, and he left. Sam stared down at Andy, and he sighed. He picked up her hand in his and kissed it gently. God, she was so beautiful. He traced her jawline with his fingers softly, and he wanted more than anything for his touch to open her eyes. He frowned at the bruise on her cheek, as well as the three on her arm, and he was sure the countless others peppering her chest.

"McNally..uh...I know I said I needed time and space, but, uh...I need you to wake up. I can't imagine going into work without you." He sighed and closed his eyes. Then, with a wavering voice, he said,

"I can't imagine waking up without you." He closed his eyes, and two tears slowly fell down his face. He laid his head down on her bed, and slowly, ever so slowly, he stroked her hand, peppering soft kisses in between his finger motions.

"Uh, I know I didn't handle everything gracefully, but...uh...you gotta know that I love you. God, Andy...I've loved you for so long." He took a shaky breath, and he was not sure he could say anymore without breaking down.

* * *

Luke watched sadly as a man he resented, a man he strongly disliked on the best of days, lost control and broke down. Normally, he'd feel anger at Sam's confession. True enough, he did feel jealous, but he'd made his bed. Now, he just felt sorry for Sam. He'd been there, felt that feeling of losing her forever, and it was not a good feeling to have. Slowly, he pushed himself off the doorframe and went and sat down again on the chair he'd occupied only seconds ago. He sighed and checked his phone. It had been six hours since they brought her in, and there'd still been no change. He stood, and Frank raised his eyebrows at him.

"Callaghan, where you off to?", he asked.

"I need to do something. I need to try to figure out who started the fire, or do some paperwork, or something. I can't just sit here.", he said. He walked out, and Frank looked on worriedly. His officers were falling apart. His phone buzzed, and he answered it. It was Noelle.

"I hate to bug you, but...the baby's been crying all afternoon, and I wanted to have a chance to go up and see McNally...", she said. He sighed, and then he smiled.

"Yeah, for sure, Noelle. I'll be there soon.", he said. He hung up and left to trade off with Noelle.

* * *

Dov and Chris sat with Gail and Traci in the waiting room. Nick had gone to grab some coffee. Gail kept looking at her watch. They were all so deep in their own thoughts that when Nick came back and set the coffees down on the table, Traci and Gail jumped.

"Wow. Still nothing, hey?", he said, and Gail shook her head sadly. Traci looked worriedly to the door to Andy's room. Sam still hadn't come out of it.

* * *

Sam sat, trying his hardest to stay awake. He didn't want to fall asleep and have Andy be alone. He still held her hand and was concentrating on rubbing a gentle pattern into it, but he was so damn tired. Traci appeared then and held out some coffee, and he smiled wordlessly. She smiled back and grabbed the other chair, and she joined him in silent vigil over her friend, knowing how hard this part must be for him. He laid his head down on the back of the chair and starting counting the tiles on the ceiling, and he could feel the hot tears spring down his cheeks. He didn't even care anymore. The woman he loved was hurt, possibly dying, so let people think he was weak for crying. He didn't fucking care anymore.

* * *

Andy woke up, and at first she couldn't see anything, just fuzzy whiteness. She closed her eyes, fighting against the pain she felt. Then she tried to open her eyes again, and she looked around. Sam was propped forward, sleeping, and from what she could see, Traci was as well. She tried to sit up, and she winced and hissed as pain shot through her entire ribcage. Trying again, she managed to get herself into a half-sit, and she sighed. Traci sat up and opened her eyes, and at first she didn't react to seeing Andy sitting up, but then she smiled.

"Andy!", she said, and she stood. The motion of her standing woke up Sam, and his eyes filled with tears upon seeing Andy, eyes open and a scowl on her face.

"Hello, sleeping beauty.", he joked. She stuck her tongue out at him. Then, she was suffocated as Traci hugged her.

"Okay, OW!", she yelled, and Traci backed away.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry.", she said, holding up her hands. Quickly, she ran to the doorway and ushered those waiting in the waiting room inside. Sam smiled at Andy, and she squeezed his hand. Then, they were joined by what looked like everyone...Noelle, Oliver, Dov, Chris, Nick, Gail...even Luke was there, and he was on the phone. She heard Frank in the background so assumed that's who he was talking to.

"Hey, everyone, let's not crowd McNally, give her some air, please.", Sam said in his most serious boss voice. Andy smiled at him, and then she was being hugged by Dov and Gail, who couldn't wait her turn and just piled on top of him. She laughed.

"Okay, you guys. I'm happy to see all of you, but you're hurting me.", she said.

"Oh, gosh, sorry!", Gail said, and she immediately backed away. Chris smiled at her, and she shared a look.

"Andy...glad to see you awake.", Luke said after hanging up the phone. She nodded her head and smiled, and then she was being asked a barrage of questions. Just then, the nurse came in, and she kicked everyone out. Sam insisted on staying, and she okayed it as long as he didn't overwhelm Andy. He smiled and assured her Andy would be fine. The nurse left, and Sam sat back in his chair. At first, he just smiled at Andy, and her heart melted to see his dimples and the way his eyes creased up when he smiled. Her heart began pounding, and she looked down at her hands.

"What happened to 'time and space'?", she demanded snarkily. He said nothing, and instead of replying, he grabbed her hand and began stroking it again.

"Sam..."

"McNally.", he answered back. He didn't care how childish he was being. Andy was awake. She was alive, and she was going to be fine, and he didn't care that he had a stupid smile plastered on his face.

"I could hear you talking to me. It was like a dream. You...you told me you loved me.", she said, and she looked up at him. He said nothing at first, and his smile slipped. He felt a sudden burst of fear, and then, oddly, it disappeared.

"I do. I do love you.", he said. He sat up and leaned into the mattress.

"So, where does that leave us, then?", she asked, and she couldn't help the attitude that snuck in there with that question.

"McNally...you scared the hell out of me. And it showed me that I'm not ready. I'm not ready to lose you yet. I'm sorry it took this to help me see that, but it's there, and you can do with that what you will." She said nothing, and she looked down at his hand drawing circles on hers. Then, when she looked up, she had tears in her eyes.

"Just promise me something, and actually promise me this time.", she asked. He closed his eyes and prepared for her question.

"Go.", he said.

"Don't ever leave me like that again. Because I won't come running back for you again.", she said. He opened his eyes and looked at her, and she was fighting back tears.

"I promise you...I'll never leave you again.", he said, and he embraced her then. She laid her head on his, and he rubbed his nose with hers before kissing her softly.

"You make me crazy, you know that?", he whispered at her, and she laughed through her tears.

"I love you.", she said, and he kissed her again.

"I know. Me too.", he said softly. She leaned back and patted the bed, shoving over so he could join her. He took off his radio and gun belt, and then he laid down beside her. He propped his arm under her head, and she snuggled up into him as close as pain would allow. Within minutes, he could hear the even breaths of sleep coming from her, and he closed his eyes, thanking God she was his again. Soon, sleep took him, too, and he slept peacefully, knowing when he woke up, McNally would be there with him.


	5. By My Side

_ONE WEEK LATER _

The night had just picked up at the Penny. Oliver sat down at a stool and looked over to Dov.

"Epstein! This one's on me!", he said, and Dov raised his glass to salute his thanks. Just then, the door opened, and Sam entered with Andy.

"McNally! Everyone, raise your glass!", Oliver called out. Sam placed Andy's jacket down and clapped, as everyone else around the room raised a glass to salute Andy.

"Andy, have you seen the web today?", Oliver asked, and Andy reddened.

"Oh, God, no...please?", Andy begged, and Oliver turned his phone so Andy could see. Instead of the horrifying drunken Andy she expected to meet, she instead saw a video of a 15-year old girl, who was sitting in a chair.

"Uh, hello Officer McNally. It's Rachael. Um...I'm not sure if you remember who I am, but I was in the mall last week, and you saved me.", she began. Andy's eyes filled with tears, and from his chair Sam grabbed her hand and began rubbing slow circles on it.

"Thank you for saving my life. I just hope that you realize that what you did for me will never be forgotten, and I'm glad there's people out there like you.", Rachael went on. She blew Andy a kiss, and then the video ended.

"You're a hero, McNally. And now, everyone knows it.", Oliver said, and he clapped her on the shoulder. From behind him, Frank called out,

"McNally." She shut her eyes and winced. When she opened them, though, he was smiling, and he winked.

"You did good, McNally.", he said. She smiled, and then she felt Sam spin her around.

"So, what do you do when you get everything you ever wanted?", he asked, and he smiled as he kissed her softly. She tore herself reluctantly from his grasp, and he gave her an odd look. She took a drink of the glass Traci handed her, and then she winked. Walking hand in hand with Traci, she stopped at the bar, and then she came back with a shot glass. She held it out to him.

"What's this, McNally? You trying to get me drunk?", he asked. She grinned. He downed the drink and then grimaced.

"What...was that?", he asked, and she high-fived Traci.

"A Splash of Nash.", Traci said, grinning. He chuckled.

"No offense, but your drink is disgusting." Oliver came up behind them then, and he threw his arm around Andy.

"Now...it's your turn, Rookie.", he said. He winked at Sam, and handed Andy her shot. She grimaced, and then tossed the drink back. Her eyes narrowed in surprise at the sweetness of it, but it was actually quite good.

"Oh...wow. What _was_ that?", she asked, and Oliver chuckled.

"The Sammy Slammer.", he said, and the whole bar cried out in delight, Sam included. Then he crossed his arms and looked down at her.

"Well?", he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's okay.", she said, and then she grinned. The bar cried out in delight again as he grabbed her and rubbed noses with her, and then kissed her softly.

"All right, all right. Come on, you guys!", Oliver protested. He walked away waving his hand in jest. Sam smiled down at Andy.

"You wanna get outta here?", he asked. She grinned up at him, and for the first time in weeks, she felt ridiculously happy.

"I thought you'd never ask.", she said. He took her by the arm and led her out of the bar, and behind them their friends continued celebrating, as what could have been another tragic week for 15 Division instead turned out to be good, and they'd had two of their officers come home...where they belonged. Oliver looked up at the ceiling for a second, and he raised his glass in silent salute.

"This one's for you, brother.", he said. Then, saying a silent goodbye to Jerry, he downed the rest of his scotch.


End file.
